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February 7, 1952 – May 19, 2025

Lily Victoria “Vicky” Grist Barris of Buxton, NC, passed peacefully away at Outer Banks Hospital on Monday, May 19. She was a much-loved and highly-respected Hatteras Island personality, immersed in civic, community and recreational goals and pursuits, education advocacy for students at Cape Hatteras Elementary School and Cape Hatteras Secondary School of Coastal Studies, and a successful real estate broker for 34 years at Hatteras Realty, where she was the epitome of grace under pressure.

Vicky, the daughter of Shepherd and Carolyn Grist, was born in Fort Campbell, Kentucky and raised in Washington, NC by her parents amidst a loving extended family of sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Perhaps because she was the first born granddaughter of her maternal grandmother Mildred, Vicky was the eternal favorite, not just of her Grandmother Mildred, but of many. And it is no wonder –  a natural beauty with an easy-going personality and gentle wit, Vicky was a connector.

She graduated from Washington High School in 1970 and from UNC Chapel Hill with a degree in English Education in 1974. She continued her studies toward a Master’s Degree in English at East Carolina University where she met and fell in love with a fellow graduate student, Robert (Bob) Barris. Vicky was the yin to Bob’s yang.

She and Bob married and moved to Hatteras Island in 1984 where they pursued a variety of adventures. Vicky was co-pilot, co-worker and confidant for Bob’s island businesses: Dairy Queen, Scales and Tails Seafood Market and Shave Ice, and Cape Yogurt. Working side by side as sales teammates at Hatteras Realty, their ability to build relationships with national and international clients skillfully produced over 1,000 successful transactions. In all those undertakings, Vicky’s talent for connections was evident. Vicky was not as gregarious as Bob, but like him, she never met a stranger and was always approachable. She became friends with shop customers, real estate clients, neighbors, yoga teachers, and grocery store clerks. She lived in the moment, always present for those around her. She enjoyed tending her garden, and her chickens and was passionate about healthful living. She loved to swim in the ocean, practice yoga, bike and walk to enjoy the rugged beauty of Hatteras Island. Vicky was a founding member of the Outer Banks National Scenic Byway Committee and helped initiate the first of several multi-use pathways on the island. Always sociable, curious, generous and open-minded, Vicky was adept at forming and maintaining relationships. Her home was always open for houseguests and visitors. Everyone – friends, cousins, nieces and nephews – has fond memories of visits to Vicky and Bob’s house that included early morning beach visits to check the surf, lively conversations over seafood dinners, visits to her local artisan friends and a tour of island sights.

The birth of her son Cash in 1989 was the greatest joy of Vicky’s life, and the role of mother was the job where she excelled most. She maintained her trademark easy-going personality and wit and somehow managed never to tell him no, but to expertly finagle every situation so that he would get most of what he was after with little or no bad consequence. As a mother, she was the perfect balance of fun, intelligence, quirkiness and kindness. She sewed Batman and Robin Halloween costumes, nurtured his childhood friendships and always scored the surfboard or skateboard he wanted. The end result helped craft Cash’s enduring reputation as one of the most skilled surfers and skaters Hatteras Island ever produced. Anyone who knows Cash will confirm the success of her life’s deepest calling.

Although dementia gradually reduced Vicky’s ability to communicate, it never snuffed out her power to connect. At her niece Casey’s wedding in 2018, Vicky danced with everyone there. There have been many times when an arched eyebrow and a theatrical roll of the eyes showed us exactly what Vicky was thinking. After decades of welcoming visitors to her home, she still lit up when friends or family visited her at Spring Arbor in Kill Devil Hills. Even on the night of her passing, she offered a cheerful, “How are you doing?” – or on occasion – a “What the hell are you doing?” over the phone. She was connecting with us to the end.

Vicky is survived by her son, A. Cash Barris, his partner Ruth Moffatt; two sisters, Lucy Walker of Washington and Jami Burns of Chapel Hill; and many beloved nieces, nephews, and cousins.

She was predeceased by her husband, Bob, and her parents.

A celebration of life will be announced soon.

Her passing will leave a void in the welcoming Hatteras Island culture she selflessly helped create, and her legacy will remain with us for years to come – thanks Vicky, we’ll miss you terribly but will someday see you again.

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